howcouldiknow

Reading

Jessica Pierotti — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 15:04:22 +0000

My brother has recently decided to transition to living full time as a woman. Until a month ago I have never known that my brother was experiencing gender dysphoria. He has dealt his whole life with an irreconcilable physical sex and subconscious understanding of his gender. Previous to this I have believed in being an open-minded individual regarding sexuality and gender roles but I would say also very uneducated. I have never had a transsexual friend or family member; or read/seen any legitimate accounts, memoirs, experiences etc. My dear friend Melissa (who wrote a post about this book also) loaned me Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity which she had read for a gender studies class and I have been fascinated with it from the start. I enjoy academic reading as well as personal perspectives so this work by Julia Serano has been enthralling. She is a transsexual woman writing about not only her experiences as a man, as a woman, and specifically as a transsexual woman; but also critically analyzes our cultures depictions, inspection, and judgment of transgender individuals and all those who transgress gender norms while rallying for acceptance of gender and sexuality as a broad spectrum rather than a set of finite categories. I am not even finished reading and so it is sinful for me to even discuss yet but reading it has been such a significant aspect of my recovery and growth that I feel entitled. It is helping me to understand my brothers past, present, and future experience while also engaging me to think critically about gender and culture from an academic perspective that keeps my brain working hard.

NB: From this point on I intend to refer to my brother as my sister and use the gender appropriate pronouns she/her.

Friday through Monday

Jessica Pierotti — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 20:23:31 +0000

The exciting news is that I have gotten away for the weekend. I flew into Chicago this morning and am getting on a Megabus to Minneapolis tomorrow at 6 AM. This is no impulsive get away, it is a trip to the Minneapolis Indie Expo that has been on the calendar for months. So I have stepped away from Columbus for a few days and I have faith all will go well without me. Though I do miss my brother already. (We have spent 24/7 together for a couple week, I’m getting kind of used to it.) Met my landlord and set up the lease to stay in the apartment Ian and I are currently in but sans third roommate. Begin love nest construction…AKA ONE DAY I MIGHT UNPACK ALL MY BOXES. Wish me luck and a sane bus driver.

August of 2010

Jessica Pierotti — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 00:50:59 +0000

Last time I wrote on here was July 15th. Three days later I get a phone call from my Dad saying that my brother was having a breakdown. The next day I got on a plane from Chicago to Columbus, Ohio and my brother was checked into a hospital for two weeks. Other than a weekend visit back to Chicago I have been living in what used to be the house I grew up in. Now it is the house left after a messy divorce, the home of my father that has been taken off the housing market for now. For two weeks I lived with my father while visiting my brother in the hospital. For two weeks I have lived with my brother and occasionally my father as he tends to his other responsibilities. A week ago we got into a car accident and totaled his car, I had my first panic attack, and then my first encounter with poison ivy. I started smoking cigarettes again. We both stopped drinking. I admit I have had one or two secret beers. I want to stay in Columbus, stay involved, and stay in control. Within two weeks I am going to fly back to Chicago semi-permanently and if I still have a job, then go back to work. Get myself financially stable and begin a process of regular visits to see my family. Leaving is likely to be one of the hardest things I am going to face. And once past the initial separation I know I am going to feel completely isolated and out of place in the familiar surroundings of my coffee shop job and Chicago apartment. I am not the same after this. I am not complaining. I don’t really care if it sounds grandiose or melodramatic. I know I am stronger than I thought, more honest than I thought, and I am craving to put this to use. Now. Almost three months out from graduation from RIT with a BFA in photography and a minor in Art History. With goals of Museum studies of Visual culture grad work. Now I am looking up social work and counselor career tracks, teaching degrees and public school positions. I wish we could have visible scars, aberrations in our tree rings to mark events such as this.

I guess I could go get a tattoo.

TIMSHEL.

Catching up in order to fall behind.

Jessica Pierotti — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 22:52:12 +0000

Ok. God who knew blogging could be so challenging. Having a blog that no one reads somehow is still this burdensome guilt trip, like a dying houseplant that you keep walking by but not watering. Me posting here again is part of what is possibly a process of me stepping back onto the grid per say.

I moved to Chicago 6 weeks and 2 days ago. I have interviewed for a job I really wanted, only interviewed. I have worked as a barista at a pharmaceutical convention. Biked 127 miles (Yes I keep track). Applied for a billion other jobs. Started doing creative needlework (???). Started cooking again, and seeing live music. Also, I have read half of East of Eden (300 pages) which I am in love with. I am employed at a cafe here but I am only working about 25 hours a week. Which is leaving me strangely unstressed and with free time. A thing that was foreign to me for most of my career at RIT. I have been doing what I want and having fun, enjoying summer and Chicago.

The weird part is, I haven’t thought about photography, I haven’t thought about my work. I have been responding to job postings every day and pursuing a better financial situation but not pursuing my work at all. I haven’t been being adamant about being involved in the arts scene, and keeping up on what is going on in the world, art or otherwise.

So today I submitted to a juried photography exhibition. I opened Photoshop for the first time in months. I looked at my own images. I spent time prowling the Chicago Artists Resource website which is a pretty great resource. From here I applied for a Volunteer Artist mentor program that is run in Logan Square (Which is pretty much my hood).

Also I want to keep up with On The Make and other blogs/listings to try to catch more openings, apartment gallery events etc.

This is me. I have a tan sort of. I look grumpy but only because I am in a cafe and super focused on the act of internet. It is very hot outside.

So long story short, I want to blog. I want to promote my photography. Hypothetically if I can ever get financially stable (I will) I would like to begin to photograph again. I want to get more connected with Chicago and meet more people here. I want to show everyone pictures of my Thai Green Curry.

And so I leave you with a reference to East of Eden by John Steinbeck. Its actually a conversation about a translation of the Jewish world Timshel explained in greater detail here. But the word is translated to mean ‘thou mayest’ implying the rein of man over his own sin, his own actions.

It’s done

Jessica Pierotti — Fri, 21 May 2010 17:00:30 +0000

May 21st, 2010

I picked up my cap and gown today, I walk at graduation tomorrow. My brother and Dad are on their way here right now to spend the day with me. I am currently sitting in the ESP lab at RIT, in front of an Epson PRO 3800, Flextight scanner, fully loaded IMAC and Wacom tablet. This is the last day I will use these facilities and I am going to miss them dearly.

I am making plans that once I am settled I am going to start investing in some equipment. First thing being the Epson v700 flatbed scanner. I am not going to stop shooting film just because I don’t have RIT labs anymore.

I have finalized my series and am moving away from its location, so it is over along with my college career. I am pleased with the result and enjoyed focusing on one thing for 9 months. It is the longest photographic project I have ever worked on. I am excited to move on but also feeling kind of lost trying to start over with a new concept in a new location etc.

Lots of things to do, lots of jobs applied for. Moving is expensive. It’s time I start over again. See you in ten days Chicago.

This is the first photograph I have taken outside and without a tripod in god knows how long. I took it while feeling nostalgic about Rochester and so it is my “Goodbye Rochester” picture.

TWENTY-FIVE

Jessica Pierotti — Mon, 10 May 2010 14:10:11 +0000

My senior class graduating from the Fine Art Photography program at RIT consists of 25 people. As part of our last quarter here we put together our own gallery show that opened on friday May 7th at the Siskind Gallery at The Visual Studies Workshop here in Rochester, NY. The experience was honestly priceless, unendingly frustrating and nerve-wracking, but priceless. The end result was beautiful, the space was perfect, the lighting looked good, the labels and frames were consistent, and the design scheme for the whole show and book looked excellent (thanks to a certain Nikki Graziano). And honestly none of it would have happened if it were not for Graham Walzer because he was committed to making a show that he could be proud of when it was over.

We actually worked together, we had a good time, and there was much hugging. Three weeks till I drive a uhaul to Chicago and start a new life. It’s starting to get real sappy and teary-eyed up here in Rochester.

Delivery

Jessica Pierotti — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 01:58:49 +0000

I returned home from a long day at work to find a lovely package in the mail from Quimby’s Bookstore in Chicago. I had already forgotten about the order I had made, making it an excellent surprise. First off I must thank Quimby’s for always being so friendly and providing a venue for young and independent artists. Included in my package was this envelope complete with the most recent artist bookmark and sticker. (look, I was really hoping for a bookmark, I love these. Maybe one day Ian or Lale will design one.)

Now for the books/zines: Fae Says by Ben Bertin

Nine Ways to Disappear by Lilli Carré (which is published by Little Otsu and says the book is “printed in Oakland, CA by a family-run printer, soy-based inks on 100% post-consumer recycled paper” Oh good!)

And finally, Titus and the Cyber Sun by Lale Westvind (with hand-colored cover. Oooh the hand of the artist. No really, it looks awesome.)

April

Jessica Pierotti — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 02:46:34 +0000

I am graduating with my BFA in Photography from RIT in five weeks. Between constant reminders of the horrors of the job market and encouragement to continue on to graduate school we have all lost sight of the value of what we have been doing and will be completing. It is easy to feel that the degree we are about to receive has no value outside of the world of academia and that one could be doomed to food service for an eternity. Fear is a part of change and of course we will feel like this, and of course it does not have to happen. I have been reminding myself lately of the value of this degree, if not on a resume then to me personally. I graduated high school in 2003. I graduated with an A.A. in Graphic Communications in 2008. Do the math, it was a two year degree that took me on and off 5 years. I can list excuses and reasons and critical influences upon those years of my life but who cares. What matters is that for me, getting to the BFA graduation is something I didn’t think would happen. And to everyone I am graduating with: This is a big deal for you as well. I am now thinking seriously about graduate studies which must mean that I have gained some faith in my abilities. This has been on my mind (due to the constant reminder of the end of the quarter on its way) today as I created graduation postcard/announcement/prints. I think they are very nice 5×7 prints on heavyweight matte double sided inkjet paper. I am going to send them out to friends and family to announce my graduation and give them an update on my plans for the future. This is one of the images I used for the front from my series Ordering Systems. I used five different images, even though no one will ever know this. It was more fun to work on printing a collection of images than to create identical prints.

I printed some with this back and some without the text block on the left hand side. Since these are nice prints I am going to put them in envelopes, so in reality they are more like mock-postcards.

Spring

Jessica Pierotti — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 01:38:46 +0000

I have put up a new series of photographs on my portfolio currently title Spring. This is work from spring of 2009 that I originally felt very conflicted with. It didn’t seem to be concept-driven enough, or structured enough. I was lost that quarter, but in hind-sight maybe those sensations had something to do with the springtime, and maybe they interact nicely. I enjoy these images because I think they show a looser side of me, a more emotional side that I don’t let show in my work very often. I am going to make an effort for it to come out more often in future work. I am a passionate and intense human that often makes very clinical images. (And that is ok too.)

words. now.

Jessica Pierotti — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 22:03:23 +0000

I have been writing an essay this week on the topic of language change and technology. Most of my research has come from the books of David Crystal: Language and the Internet (2001) and Txtng (2008). For the record I am not thrilled to have one author as my main resource but have not found as much thorough analysis of this topic as I was hoping for. The rise of the internet , along with the following wave of electronic devices and text messaging, has created a new register of communication that has become commonplace. More recently the Iphone and Blackberry, which have the full keyboard and increased speed, have made text messaging even more prevalent. The response to this kind of communication has been mostly apocalyptic predictions for the end to all intelligent life on earth. Things are changing, change is scary, but some of the presumptions made I find offensive. Claims are made that the shortening of words, use of acronyms, symbols, and phonetic spellings are destroying English speakers ability to use the language correctly. I do not agree. Any failure on the part of the youth in this country to formally communicate is a failure of the public school system and is not associated with the rise of internet and text communication. What is impressive about humans and language is that we are capable to communicate within English in multiple different registers. Casual speech and slang can be spoken by the same person that is writing a formal dissertation, and so, casual texting can also co-exist with other linguistic registers. Then, stepping back, it is interesting to consider this controversy objectively as well as all the other tendrils of this new medium and how they affect communication, behavior, comprehension, attention span and more. Reading and thinking about this essay recently has gotten me ‘all riled up’ and also extremely self-aware as I speak, text, and type. What I have become most aware of is how text messaging and the internet have changed my communication fundamentally rather than my specific word choice or usage. Though I argue that the stereotypical text messaging style ( e.g. C U l8er. B hme @ 5.) is not detrimental to the English language I do not personally partake in it. See Evelyn Beatrice Hall – “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”. (Wikipedia says this quote is incorrectly attributed to Voltaire.) The language adaptations that were sparked by text communication are only a portion of the styles of language used on new devices and the full keyboard becoming more and more common these usages may die out completely. We may want to focus more on how the rise of new technology has and will echo through all mediums of communication, and fundamentally alter the manner in which we speak to one another.

P.S. Thanks David. I found Language and the Internet fascinating. At first I put this book down after realizing it was written in 2001, then I returned for lack of other resources. Obviously things have changed drastically in this area since 2001 but I think many of the ideas discussed in this book can be applied currently.